October 2025 Update #3: Progress in All Its Forms + Scary Skulls!
Progress was slow this week. I kept trying to work on the large paintings that I have in motion, but honestly, it felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Looking back, I didn’t actually do anything meaningful with the paintings. (Sigh)
But as I looked back, I actually did a lot. One thing that I actually need to do more often is stop and just let a painting rest. I need to observe it and figure out how to strategically make it better. Just slapping paint on without thought can work, and sometimes this is just what you need to move forward. But sometimes the work is in walking past the painting 100 times and pondering your next move. I did this a lot this week, and I think this is all part of the work. This happens because there is a little fear and hesitation, if I’m honest. But I think it’s ok if the goal is to be strategic with your next move.
Then I also remembered I've been working on frames a lot. That's progress too, even though it doesn't feel like it. Tomorrow I'll start a few more. I need to give myself credit for this stuff. Frames matter just as much as the paintings. It all takes time, and it’s important.
My new website launched this week. Finally. It's live and I'm happy with how it turned out.
But there’s going to be more work involved now that I have this first version out there and completed. I have to add more of my existing work to it. Every piece needs to be photographed, described, organized, and uploaded. It takes forever. I knew it would take time, but I didn't realize how much time. I have bigger plans for the site that I’m excited to get to, but I think I need to stay focused on the basics for a bit longer, unfortunately.
I'm also trying to stay active on Substack. Posting my own thoughts and artwork, engaging with other people's work. It eats up a lot of time, but I actually enjoy it. It's nice to connect with other people who care about the things you care about. Community matters.
Anyway, I remembered today that my lack of progress this week wasn’t completely my fault either. I actually went to do some painting yesterday, and I hit a real roadblock. I realized that my supplies that I need still haven't shown up in the mail. So much for that plan. I hate when this happens. You can be ready to work, and then you don’t have something that you need. Keeping track of supplies and reordering on time is harder than it should be.
The voices in our heads are relentless.
It’s Halloween this week, and I was reminded that I took this photo last weekend. It’s been on my mind a lot this week, and I’d like to talk about it…
This little girl is just standing there in front of this giant, terrifying skull. It's huge compared to her. Glowing eyes, teeth, the whole horror show. And she's not scared at all. She's just looking at it. Staring it down.
We all have our own version of that skull. I gotta say that I have many skulls if I’m being honest.
For me, it definitely shows up in my art practice. Is my art just bad? Will anyone ever buy my work and hang it on their wall? Am I good enough to even call myself an artist? What if I keep working on a painting that feels "ok" and I actually end up ruining it instead of making it better? These doubts never end. The voices in our heads are relentless.
But your skull probably looks completely different.
But here's what that little girl understands that we forget: the skull can't actually get you. It looks terrifying, but it doesn't move. It can't chase you. It just sits there, waiting to see if it can influence your behavior.
Whatever the scary thing is, whether it's putting your work out there, having that hard conversation, making that investment, taking that leap, you have to stand there and just stare it down and do what must be done.
The fear doesn't go away. It's still there, glowing and grotesque.
But you don't have to let it win.
You just have to stand there. Small, maybe. But steady.
The skull stays where it is. And you get to walk forward anyway.
